L'Étoile Beer Dinner.

I'm spoiled. I'm totally spoiled. Marcus Wareing has spoiled me for any other restaurant. I fully realize that now. I also realize this could potentially ruin any kind of review I do for a fancy schmancy restaurant from now on. Maybe if I'm aware of it, I can temper it. I'll do my best. I did my best on Tuesday night. When the service was off, I breathed. When the pairings didn't go well, I breathed. I kept breathing. Kept telling myself this was not Marcus, and could never be. Don't hold them to that standard. But I have to be honest, the highly-anticipated beer dinner at l'étoile on Tuesday night wasn't everything it could've been. Not by a long shot.

My husband and I were excited for the event, not only because we'd never been to l'étoile, but the restaurant promised all five courses would be served with a paired beer from French microbreweries. Way cool. Hubby and I *love* beer, Belgians in particular. I think I may have even waxed poetic on these very pages about our old stomping ground, The Sharp Edge. Over 20 Belgian beers on tap - lovely lovelies as far as the eye can see. But other than Kronenbourg, we weren't familiar with French beer. At all. So this promised to be exciting. Good food paired with good beer. Hell, all we'd ever done to this point was go to the Sharp Edge's beer festival, where they offer you a taste, then punch your card. By the end of the night your card looks like Swiss cheese. A complete fancy beer dinner was another animal entirely. Yay!

On first glance, l'étoile reminded me a lot of Le Pommier, our favorite French bistro back in the 'burgh. Cute paintings, lots of shabby chic decorations, dark red painted walls to accent the gold Rococo-style frames surrounding the art. Creaky floors and tiny rooms with decorative ante-cues (my word for antiques) reminding me also of Chez Gerard (Ah, Chez Gerard. I heart the Gerard).

I was told when I made the reservation that food would be served family style - everyone all at one table. Cool. We're new in town, and I'm VERY chatty (especially after some beer). What a great venue to meet some new foodies! Yeah, not so much. It was more "cruise ship" than communal. We were led upstairs to our dining accommodations - three large tables that at my best guess seated at least 30 people. We had 12 at our table alone. That's when my "uh-oh's" started. I had envisioned maybe 16-20 people tops. Were they good enough to bring out 30 appies, 30 entrees, and fill and refill 30 glasses throughout the course of the evening? Hmmmmm...... Now, don't get me wrong. I fully realize they probably did this dinner in order to fill seats on a Tuesday night. But still. The whole quality quantity thing started to eat at me.

We were seated and that's when the whole communal thing went out the proverbial window. I started to overhear other couples talking about "...saving seats for the other couples arriving later." Seems we were one of the only couples who weren't there as a foursome. No one wanted the strange interlopers from god knows where sitting next to THEM. Come on guys! Where's your sense of adventure! Take a chance. Make a friend over a beer! Whatever. The few groups of people who weren't double-dating refused to even look at each other. I'd smile like you do when you think you're going to start a sparkling conversation, they would smile back, bring their hand to their face, and look away. Nervous smiles, nervous attempts at half-laughter.

I must've tried to converse with the couple across from us umpteen times before finally breaking the ice, and then it was so stilted you thought you were in church. Have we really become so isolated amongst ourselves we can't even make simple conversation? Found myself pulling out *all* my Chatham wiles, all the tricks of the trade I had learned in my time in Development wooing aging alums out of their inheritance dollars. Trying to get this awkward car at least started, if not chugging along at a snail's pace. Maybe some beer would help. Make the dinner a little more communal.

Where was the beer anyway? Turns out the rep from the importer was late because of plane delays. That's fine, but why didn't l'étoile start the ball rolling? Lubricate the minions with some aperitifs so they'd be good and ready to buy, buy, buy when the importer showed up? Who knows. I know the economy is bad. All the more reason to not be so stingy with the tastings. From the looks of the room, (there were a few old guys talking about getting drunk on Brandy Alexanders) I *think* they'd be willing to pull out wallets after just one dose of 8% Grand Cru. But who am I to judge.

Okay, let me pull back. I'm being harsh. The place was adorably Parisienne. The people around me seemed very nice albeit nervous, like they were at the dentist. And here's me and hubby, old farts, beer guzzlers, ready to chug-a-lug and wax poetic about French microbrews. I guess we were expecting it to be more of a "fest" and not so stiff. It is beer after all. Or maybe we're just too necky for a French beer dinner. Sigh. On to the food.

The first course was smoked scallop atop a fennel-potato puree in a "biere blanc" which I think is a variation on beurre blanc but with beer instead of wine. The scallop was phenomenal. I can't remember if I've ever had scallops smoked, but I'm going to be jonesing for it from now on. The smoky taste paired with the meaty texture was to die for. I may have actually smacked my lips. The puree and sauce were great accompaniments. Hubby complained that his was cold, whereas mine was fine. Inexplicably I was served first, while he was served dead last. And there is that "30 people, can they handle it?" question rearing its ugly head again.

All through the night they had this thing where they served the ladies first, then the men. Which is fine if you're trying to please the Charlottesville cotillion, but it mostly involved waiters pushing and shoving past people in a tight space during every course to keep the etiquette flag waving high. Not efficient by a long shot. It didn't help that everyone at the table waited until the last person was served (hubby) before they started eating, even though I kept waving my arms, assuring them it was okay to go ahead. My Chatham etiquette dinner taught me that.

Yes, as part of my last job I was required to attend an etiquette dinner. Which is a lot more fun than you'd imagine. We learned the proper way to eat bacon (with your fingers), spaghetti (rolled against a spoon) and fondue (dip the marshmallow, pass to your left) all in the same meal! Yeah, I'm a dork, but I did know, FOR A FACT, that it's okay to start eating when *most* people have been served. But no one listened. And so all their scallops were probably cold. Everyone was so NERVOUS. I'll say it again, if they had been a little more free with the beer, it could've been a very different event.

There you go Libby, digressing again. I do love a good tangent to go flying off on. Anyway, the beer paired with the scallop was exceptional. And green. Brasserie du Mont Blanc "La Verte" a green beer aged in wormwood and tasting sweet, of pastures and hay. I could not taste the absinthe supposedly included in the brew, but I did notice people getting more animated at the thought they could GO INSANE just by sipping green beer. The importer explained the brewery was located in the Alps, as most of the beers we tasted that evening were. He added the beer would make a great digestif. I agree. It had the taste of a pilsner, but softer. Greener if you will. Would be great after dinner like grappa or aqua di vie (those little "waters of life" we sipped in Amsterdam). I'd love it ice cold on a hot summer day. But the pairing, in my opinion, was not good. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an expert in pairings and would even struggle to suggest a better alternative. But this was wrong. The smoky taste overpowered the delicate nature of the beer. I finished my delicious scallop and enjoyed the beer on its own. Wishing it had been served colder.

The import representative spent his time between courses making the rounds. He had enough time believe me. He was a nice Frenchman, hugely informative all through the evening about the origins of the beer and what he thought of the pairings. He used the words "interesting" and "unexpected" quite a bit. Props to the guy for being tactful. He was nothing if not gracious, circling the room between the diners, talking to them, explaining things. But as the evening wore on (and on, and on) I could tell he was getting impatient. Glancing at his watch. The night clearly was something he hadn't envisioned. I kept thinking it would've been a better, friendlier, more memorable evening if all of us could have been at just one table. Talking. Drinking. Sharing. Instead of being crammed in like the captain's table on a cruise ship. I've never dined on a cruise ship, but I imagine this is what it must be like. Awkward silences. Nervous laughter. Feeling crammed in. Uncomfortable. Except on this ship you had to wait for a check. But I'm getting ahead of myself. More on the remaining four courses tomorrow. This review is threatening to be as long as the dinner. You'd think I was Charles Dickens or something...

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