Monday, October 11, 2010

Scarier Than Spider Hair Monday.

A weekly feature where I present something culinary that *might* just have you saying, “WTF?" Yep, it's even scarier than spider hair.

Hmmmm……I think I might put up my Christmas tree today. Too soon? I mean, I’m already seeing Costume Couture designed by Simon Doonan in my local Target. I’ve always wanted to go to a party dressed as pasta. Don’t you? Food is the new black.SO excited about Christmas! Because this year, I’ve finally discovered a use for all that stemware sitting dusty and forlorn in my cabinets because of my dinner party phobia. I’ll use them as ornaments! It’ll look fabulous. Like a bunch of drunken elves chugged eggnog and hurled the empties at a Scotch pine. If Sandra Lee did it, it MUST be fabulous.

I heart Sandra Lee. She’s kwality with a “k”. Girlfriend ALWAYS has a cocktail while she’s cooking. Her show, Semi-Homemade, provided much fodder for me and my workmates back when I lived in Pittsburgh. We had a television in our office, so noontime was Sandra time. We’d heat our lunches in the microwave and hoot and howl over the weird semi-edible monstrosities she’d create with cans of this and jars of that.

After the food portion came the cocktail recipe. Somehow her cocktails were always blue, and if it’s one thing my Momma told me, unless it’s medicine don’t drink anything that’s blue. For all you know you’ll take a sip and suddenly see the Tidy Bowl Man.

Best part? The TABLESCAPES! Napkins and driftwood and chargers, oh my! Silverware, bird’s nests, gold leaf, twigs, and glassware as far as the eye can see. Everything in its proper place and always fitting in with the theme of the show. Of course when you’re having a Ping-Pong party or a Denim and Diamonds bash things can get rather ugly rather quickly. Wait a minute, denim and diamonds? OMG! *Having an OH SHIT! moment, running to hide the evidence...*

Oh well, gotta go put up my tree. That is an awful lot of dusting to do...and it's such a nice day out. Maybe I’ll just go as Sandra Lee for Halloween. All I’d need is a Farrah wig and a martini glass filled with something blue…and maybe a glue gun. :D


gina@conciergeformom said...

Love it! I need that on this monday, I watch her show as well for the same reasons. I made one of her xmas cocktails last year, and all I have to say is that many people did not drive home that night!

Penny said...

I admit that I haven't watched Sandra Lee since you all left Beatty House - but now I desperately want to run home and dvr her show and laugh with you again, at least in spirit. Miss you!

Libby said...

...and just imagine if her boyfriend becomes GOVERNOR OF NEW YORK! LOLOLOLOLOLOL! @Pen Pen, miss you too...let's plan a visit for me to DC soon <3